The Road Ahead

I used to look back on a past that haunted me
But no more of that
I’m set free.
All the kids and adultsTeachers and teens
All the people who said,
“you’ll never amount to anything”
All the people who ridiculed
Saying, “You’ll always be a nobody.”
Well I proved them wrong
They let me be
Because after all these years
I am the hero in my own story
No more damsels in distress
Or knights in armor for me
I am finally someone,
No longer a nobody
I’ll never reroute to my old ways
Like I said, I am set free
No more scars, no more drinks
No more weed
I’m not here to ruin my life
But to serve a one true God
I’m not going back
All I have is the road ahead of me.

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Self-Harm

Arms riddled with scars
Thighs bearing name
Of the one who captured
Me in vain.
She’s like the devil
Tricky and hard to kill
But inside you feel good
When you purge your food away
When you bring the blade
To your skin
All may seem
To make you feel “better”.
Truly
She’s torturing you inside.

Spoken to Truth

I’m awake
Yet I don’t wish
To be.
I wish to be
Asleep
Yet I can’t be so.
For insomnia has
Gripped me
And I hate it
Oh, how I hate it so.
Tell me if you deal
With these feelings I feel
While I’m awake in the
Middle of the night.
Tell me if you carry out
The secret ritual
To cope with the empty
And the strain.
Tell me,
Please tell me.
How you deal with tragedy
And pain.

I’m Not Okay

I say I’m okay
Or a simple “I’m fine”
Will always do
But if you really
Knew
You’d know it
Wasn’t really true.
Under my sleeves
Picture painted
All by me.
Colors of red
Shades of white
Criss cross skin.
I can say,
“I’m fine, really.”
But one who truly
Knew
Would know I’m not fine.
I’m not okay.
Battered
Under these sleeves.

State of Depression

Just so my followers know, I am no longer depressed.

I’m a worthless freak
A mistake by design
No one ever knew
The failure if leave behind.
First my life
Often called a puzzle or a wound up vine
Then my doings
All known to be a sign
Of my constant failure
My screw ups, my spiny pine
The one that hurt those around me
Those never to be known as mine
So I say I’m a failure
A mistake by design
A cover up to a demon
Now so easy to find
A worthless freak
A sorrowful mind
They never thought I’d do this
I’d give up in the blink of an eye.